


Just dreaming

by Aogera (MEEMAWMEEMAW)



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, will they won't they
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 14:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4922551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MEEMAWMEEMAW/pseuds/Aogera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Troll hunting is a dangerous profession. What could possibly go wrong? Or in Emil's case, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Language notes: because there are so many languages racing around i've utilized italics. When the character who's perspective i'm writing from hears someone speak, if they understand it's not italicised and if they don't understand it's in italics. 
> 
> Thought that we needed a few more lalli/emil (lemil? that sounds too much like a cough sweet...) fics. So, presenting fluff galore!
> 
> Rated teen because there's some swearing and teens have delicate ears. 
> 
> I take no credit for the characters, or wonderful universe etc etc. All created by Minna Sundberg, (thank you btw!!) please check out her comic. (although i assume you have otherwise you wouldn't be reading this...)

“Sigrun, no!” Emil said in a harsh whisper. “We were meant to stick together…”

Too late. He heard unintelligible murmurs echo back at him from around the chilly corridor. He closed his eyes, then thought better of it and snapped them open again. Taking a deep breath, he squatted down to get a better grip on his weaponry. They had been told not to fire any guns inside - too noisy. Attracts trolls. He gripped one of his grenades strapped to his front for reassurance. The cold, bobbly metal object wasn’t doing a stellar job at lowering his heart rate.

“Ugh,” Emil released a grunt of frustration. He had been in this all too familiar situation before, and it had ended in him blowing up the building. He sighed. That wasn’t the most subtle mission they’d ever done.

Alright, deep breath, hair flick, Emil stood up as ready as he’d ever be. He took off carefully down the corridor in search of books and trolls… but hopefully not trolls. Emil came to a door and poked his head around, alert. He shone his torch around, especially in the corners. Nothing. Looked like a completely ordinary sitting room. He sidestepped in, taking long, deep, silent breaths through his mouth the entire time. There seemed to be a few cupboards that might be worth checking out.

He stepped up to a floor length one and rapped against it gently, standing well back from the wooden part in case a troll came shooting out. Nothing. He pressed his ear against the adjoining wall. Sweet, sweet silence. He slowly opened the handle and gently opened the door. It was ominously quiet. He looked in and gasped. Books! Yes! He brushed some of the dust off the front of an impressive looking leather one. “Quantum… “ oh whatever. He opened the book. Pages intact. Great. He tried to remember what Mikkel had said about selectively choosing books. Ah well, this was probably fine.

Tok.

Emil span around, eyes wide, breath in his throat. What was that…

Something was moving up the corridor. Emil closed his eyes. He could go out and face it… or… he looked behind him. Dammit! He waved the torch in the cupboard. No vents. Great. He sat cosily inside and closed the door so he could just peep out. Torch off.

Darkness.

Quiet.

Whatever it was was coming closer. Emil scrunched his brow together. Please just pass by, please just pass by. The noises stopped outside the room. “No, please, come on, there’s no reason for a troll to come in here,” came EMil’s thoughts. Nope. Of course, whatever it was was coming into the room. At some point, Emil remembered to open his eyes.

Oh, a torch.

“Lo?” he called out.

“Lo?” came the response. Emil smiled. Lalli.

He poked his head out the cupboard, “Am I glad to see you!” Lalli trotted over to the cupboard. He seemed completely unfazed, which Emil took to be a sign that there was no danger lurking.

“Books!” Emil pointed up. “I found some. They’re in quite good condition.” Lalli ran his eyes along the collection and nodded. He then squatted down next to Emil. He gave him a once over.

_“What are you doing in here?”_

Emil suddenly felt quite self-conscious. Like Lalli was judging him for hiding in a cupboard. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with taking precautions!” he said defensively.

It happened suddenly. Lalli shot out a hand towards Emil, pupils blown. Emil knew the universal symbol to be quiet. He strained his ears. He could hear it. Something big. Lalli evaluated the room and decided that perhaps Emil’s idea had not been so stupid after all. He crawled in past him and tucked himself in the cupboard. Emil sidled into the cramped space after him and closed the door again. They could hear whatever it was moving now, breath coming deeply and fast. Whatever this was wasn’t a harmless Lalli-like tread, but something more sinister. He gasped as he felt something clutch his arm, and then fingers pressed to his mouth. He looked over at Lalli, his eyes adjusting to the dark. It almost made him gasp again. They were crouched extremely close to each other.

And it wasn’t doing anything to help Emil’s nerves. In fact now he was certain that his heart was beating louder.

Their eyes were locked, Emil’s filled with anxiety and Lalli’s furrowed in concentration, as they listened for the creature in the corridor. It was moving past their room. Emil relaxed under Lalli’s grip and exhaled through his fingers. Lalli smiled a tiny smile, not moving his hands.

“We should find Sigrun and get out of here…” Emil whispered. Lalli raised an eyebrow, not moving still. And actually, Emil was having a hard time moving as well. He touched Lalli’s arm, the one holding his own and gave it a light squeeze and a small smile. “You okay?”

Lalli blinked and slowly lowered his arms. The Finn and the Swede still did nothing to make their escape. There was something magic in that cupboard, and not just Lalli. Emil began to lean forward to move out of the cupboard but was too tangled in Lalli’s legs for the manoeuvre. He tilted forward, toppling over his friend. He flung his arms out, around Lalli’s head as he collapsed onto him.

“Ugh,” he grunted. Lalli had flung his arms around him to catch him. Emil’s hands were placed either side of Lalli’s head, leaning against the wall. His body was pressed flush with the finn, and they were ear to ear.

But neither of them said anything. Emil took a few cautious breaths while he waited for Lalli to fling him off or speak or do anything. Nothing. Even his arms were still around Emil’s waist. He could feel Lalli’s ribcage move against his as he breathed.

Emil gently whispered again “you okay?” Lalli turned to try and look at him at this, stopping when their noses were touching. Emil could have sworn there was an electric current flowing through him. Unbidden and hidden away thoughts all seemed to start poking up into his conscious thoughts. Ones about how Lalli’s grey eyes reminded him of woodsmoke and clouds. He was worried that Lalli thought he was too close, but Lalli wasn’t backing away. The moments continued like this. Each party waiting for something to happen.

One of Lalli’s hands began to stroke Emil’s back. Emil let a smile break on his lips. He moved one of his hands off the wall, down onto Lalli’s shoulder. Lalli’s brow relaxed, and a semblance of a smile lit up his gorgeous eyes. Like the sun poking through the clouds. Emil wrapped his other arm behind Lalli’s narrow shoulders, giving him a gentle squeeze. He could feel his warm breath against his lips. Emil closed his eyes and…

**  
**  
  


“THAT’S RIGHT, YOU BASTARD, DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!” The sudden shout with an accompaniment of gunshots and inhuman screeching made Emil stand up in shock. He hit his head on the shelf above, Lalli clinging onto him tighter like a frightened cat. The duo scrambled to get out of the cupboard. The corridor was being lit up by gunshot after gunshot, and Then Sigrun backed passed, cackling and shooting at she did. “HAHA! THOUGHT YOU’D SNEAK UP ON THE OLD TROLL HUNTING MASTAAAAH!!” Sigrun reloaded, “Well you thought wrong!! Wooohoo hooo!”

“Sigrun!!” Emil yelled over the gun shots. She turned to him wide-eyed. Gun fired. pressure. Brow scrunched together. “No!!” someone was shouting. _“No, Emil!”_ Someone else was shouting. Emil took a deep breath in. Pain. No, numb. Or was it pain? Something had happened. Lalli had run over to him but in slow motion. That made his hair dance wonderfully. How thoughtful of him. Sigrun had her mouth open. There was also a piercing sound. Maybe the two were connected? She kept backing away down the corridor. Something black followed. Big. Terror.

“Troll…” Emil knew what that was. He gripped his belt. No guns. They’re noisy. It didn’t occur to him that Sigrun had already made enough noise to wake hell. Round. Cool. Shiny. Bomb! Yes. He clicked it from his belt and tossed it. Lalli was touching him. _“No, Emil, we need to get you out of here!”_ Wait, where did he throw that bomb… It wasn’t landing on the troll. He reached for another, Lalli’s hands on his. He was pulling. Like he was trying to stop Emil attacking. Emil’s hand landed on something wet. On his abdomen. What? Had he spilt soup on himself again? In front of Lalli? He was going to think he was too weird now. Too weird to kiss-. Emil giggled which turned into a groan. Now Lalli was covering him with his body and pushing him against the back wall of the sitting room. That was forward… they hadn’t even kissed gently now he was being pushed into dark corners. Now heat, pressure, light, noise, ruin. Bomb. Cold. White… Snow. They were outside.

_“Emil, we have to run! There’s no way back to the cat tank from this direction.”_

__

Emil let Lalli lead him down the frozen streets. He hadn’t noticed the gentle trail of blood breadcrumbs he was leaving behind him. Little glistening beacons of their direction. He and Lalli were making a good pace. Emil didn’t really need to think about what his body was doing. Lalli had his arm around him, and that was good enough for now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From Lalli's perspective, so the italics are the things that Lalli doesn't understand.

Lalli had managed to shoulder Emil for a good amount of time. However, he could feel his strength dissolving. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, the pain and weariness kicked in. Emil groaned and clutched his abdomen with his free hand, the other one wrapped around Lalli's neck. Lalli had been supporting Emil for the last ten minutes, and Emil had been relying more and more on the strength of the finn. They had escaped the troll-infested house thanks to a lucky explosion from the bomb Emil threw. Lalli, using his knowledge of the town from his scouting missions, decided to take Emil back to the cat tank via the forest. They were less likely to be ambushed. They had left Sigrun behind. Lalli had prioritised getting Emil aid. However, now he was feeling unsure about the route they’d taken.

 

Lalli glanced over at the one man who he sort of called a friend. His head was bowed, shimmering hair covering up his grimace of pain. Emil coughed, and in that movement his last strength seemed to leave him.

 

"Emil..." Lalli whispered, lowering him to the ground. Fortunately, the trees provided cover and there were plenty of knots and roots to hide in. Lalli paused, kneeling over the Swede, to listen for any signs of danger. Or the cat tank. All he could hear was Emil's laboured breaths. Lalli's brow furrowed. He had pushed Emil's physical condition to the back of his mind to prioritise getting him away from danger, but now that the risk was gone worry started to flow through Lalli. He slowly lifted the Swede's hand away from the wound he sustained in the fight. From what he saw in the dark of that room, Emil had called to Sigrun and she’d been startled and accidentally shot Emil.  

 

As he saw the blood underneath the worry started to turn into panic. Lalli didn't really know if that was a lot of blood or not. He sat there motionless, wide-eyed, trying desperately to think.

_"Lalli..."_ Emil stirred. Lalli felt surprised when Emil gripped his hand a little tighter for reassurance. He had forgotten he was holding it when he saw the quantity of blood. _"Is that you?"_

 

Lalli squeezed Emil's hand in response. It was starting to feel cold. He took a deep breath and riled himself up for action. Now that he was over the shock his priorities adjusted: he wasn't going to fail Emil. Quickly, with newfound resolve, he ripped off his own gloves and unzipped Emil's coat. Emil blinked stupidly and looked down in alarm. _"Lalli wha-"_

 

"Quiet." Lalli quietly commanded. He lifted up Emil's thermal shirt and pressed his gloves against the wound. It didn't look that big - just a bit more blood than expected. He couldn’t feel a bullet in there. He shimmied Emil's belt up so that it held the make-shift bandages there tightly. Nodding with satisfaction, he quickly zipped up Emil's coat. As the zipper reached just under Emil's neck Lalli's eyes moved up to look at his face. Emil's beautiful eyes were half closed and sleepy, and he had a goofy, gentle smile on his lips. There was also a lovely blush dusting his cheeks.

 

_"I thought you'd... Take me out to dinner first..."_ Emil whispered through his smile. Lalli placed his hand on Emil's cheek - it was burning hot. Emil might be catching fever from the shock and cold. _"Because, ya know..."_ Emil tried to gesture at his coat, but it was a pathetic attempt in his weakened state, _" you're undressing me. "_

 

"Quiet..." Lalli repeated. Gently stroking the Swede's forehead with his thumb. The blood loss was clearly making him delirious. Emil's blood loss might be contained for a little while, but it was only as a short fix. Lalli knew they needed rescuing and fast. He brushed his hand down the side of Emil's face reassuringly and sprang up to look for the cat tank. Walking back to the site wasn't an option - he didn't have the strength to carry Emil.

 

He hopped up the tree to get a view over the forest. Scanning the horizon, his heart plummeted a little as he saw nothing but withered branches, naked in the winter chill. In the distance, he could see a tower from a... What did they call it again? Cat-edral? It seemed a bit of a grand building just to honour cats. Then again, they were imbued with magic so maybe the pre-rash folk were onto something after all. As Lalli's mind wandered, it was brought back to focus as he spotted movement in the distance. Not daring to hope, Lalli eyed the moving area. Clearly something big affecting the forest. Probably not a troll - unless it was enraged a troll would be much quieter. A practised stalker.

 

An ear! Yes! The cat tank! Lalli closed his eyes and muttered a spell. A Red spark shot into the air and hung suspended, like a distress flare. Tuuri would recognise the beacon and come and get then, lalli was certain. He raced back down the tree to tell Emil. He leapt next to his friend and raced over. Almost falling over a hidden tree root in the snow. Lalli's breathing hitched as he saw Emil's condition. Closed eyes. Slightly parted lips. Lolling head. Lalli quickly patted the side of his face. "Please, Emil," he said with a small voice. "Please don't..."

 

The morbid thought was interrupted as Emil's eyes fluttered open in confusion. He exerted a terrible effort trying to see who or what was touching his beautiful face. When he saw the finn though, he smiled. He leant into Lalli's hand and closed his eyes again. _"Lalli... most beautiful... You"_ he muttered incoherently. His warm flush returning.

 

No, this wasn’t supposed to happen! Lalli rudely interrupted Emil's slumber. "Don't fall asleep!" He said a little more loudly than he'd planned, patting the side of his face insistently. Emil frowned and pouted grumpily. Once again with a tremendous effort, turned his head to look at the Finn. _"Wazzat fooor?"_ He asked indignantly.

 

"Emil! You can't sleep." Emil chuckled at this, which was a little confusing and irritating.

 

_"You've never spoken so many mouth words before..._ " He said dreamily. Emil held up his hand towards Lalli's face. He had every intention in cupping it but somehow his strength wouldn't allow it. His hand dropped down, and so did his eyes.

 

"Nonono!" Lalli continued urgently, slapping him this time. "Cat tank is almost here - just wait. Mikkel! Mikkel can help you, just stay awake until then." He had rarely spoken so many words so fervently before, possibly a side-effect of panic.

 

It was no use. Emil seemed to be being the point of waking up. Lalli knelt on all fours over him feeling helpless. He only needed to keep Emil awake a short moment longer. His cheek was a disturbing combination of hot and cold. Fever and death. Lalli gritted his teeth. If he couldn’t keep Emil awake in this world, then maybe there was something he could do in the dream world. He squished himself in the nook of the tree, alongside Emil and slid an arm under his shoulders. Lalli held his friend close, rolling him slightly so their bodies were pressed together. It worked better with more contact. Although it wasn't risk-free. He couldn’t move through dreams like Reynir, so he would need all the help he could get finding Emil.

  
Before performing the rite, Lalli sprung up another flare and a smaller one just above the couple's heads. He could sense the purring engine of the car tank now. Won’t be long now. Lalli smiled. He pulled Emil tighter still, breathing in the smell of his hair. It was warm. It was Emil. It would be enough to find him. Before departing, Lalli gave Emil's hair a little spruce. He could have sworn he'd seen it sparkle. It might have seemed like a meaningless gesture given the severity of the situation, but he knew Emil would appreciate looking perfect when rescued.

Lalli closed his eyes and slipped into the dream world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chapters to come! 
> 
> I've been reading a little bit into the SSSS fanfic base and fans are very passionate about keeping these characters true to who they are. I'm trying hard not to stray too far. Hopefully there are semblances of the characters in what i've written... aside from the shameless fluff


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just noticed in the first chapter i said Lalli's eyes were grey... they're not. They're blue. But alas, maybe Emil thought they were grey because it was dark in that cupboard? I dunno.
> 
> This one's from lalli's perspective.

Usually waking up in the dream world was a groggy process, but this time Lalli had work to do. He leapt to his feet and peeled straight towards the dream ocean portal. (He and Onni occasionally referred to it as the chatroom…) He stepped straight out and drew a deep breath. Sleeping Lalli also drew a breath, wrapped tightly around the man he was trying to find. Emil.

 

After a few more breaths, Lalli knew where to find him. Another portal started to materialise. A sweeping meadow. Blissful sunshine poured out onto the dream ocean. Lalli stood motionless for a moment. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but Emil had never struck him as being at one with nature. He could see a glint of golden hair amongst pink and purple meadow flowers. He darted towards the portal and leapt into Emil's dream.

 

If there were any other features in that meadow, Lalli didn't notice them. He let out an uncharacteristic yelp as he saw Emil was lying motionless. If Emil died here... Lalli wasn't sure if he could escape. He'd have to figure out a way of keeping Emil alive in the dream world. If he slipped away here, then he may never wake up again. An unexpected thought flew into his head... Would he want to escape if Emil wasn't there anymore? The thought was like an avalanche. He'd always considered himself quite independent, but the list of things he did with Emil started to get unexpectedly long. They protected each other during scavenges. He was the person he was happy to share cookies with, and Emil always ran to greet him after scouting. He even helped cleanse him. Who would say goodnight to him?

 

"Emil!!" He shouted, sprinting closer.

 

To his delight, Emil opened his eyes and sat up as though nothing had happened. "Lalli?" He asked, completely coherently. "Where are we? I thought it was snowing..." Emil looked around. "I thought I was dying..." He turned back to look at the Finn, smiling. "At least my last thoughts will have you in them."

 

Lalli's mouth had gently fallen open. He'd rarely entered other people's dreams, especially not people who spoke other languages. However, it turns out that their usual language barrier had completely broken down in Emil's dream world.

 

"Emil, I..." Lalli faltered. Now he was here he didn't really know what to do or say. He'd come to keep dream Emil awake. While real Emil was asleep. As confusing as that was...

 

"Lalli, please sit with me," Emil patted the earth next to him

 

Lalli shrugged. It was something to do he supposed. He sat cross-legged next to Emil. He looked down at the grass, and took a sprig in his hand and began to twirl it. Emil was looking up at the pristine sky, lounging back on his elbows. "I saw a picture of this place in a book." Emil volunteered. "Who would have thought you didn't need actually to read books to learn about things?" Lalli stared at his blade of grass. It was strange understanding Emil's babbling for a change.

 

Lalli looked back at eyes as blue as the sky above. He felt a rare smile stirring in his eyes and spread to his mouth. Emil looked back at him and shared the smile. "You know, if this is the last dream i ever have, then my mind must be very forgiving to put you in it." Lalli felt a twinge of guilt at this sentiment: Emil's subconscious hadn't put him there, he'd broken in. But guilt turned to resolve. He was here to make sure it wasn't Emil's last dream. But for some reason he wasn't going to introduce this information to the conversation.

 

Emil sat up and raised a hand, the one closest to Lalli, to brush his blonde hair behind his ear. He looked as though he was about to say something but was thinking better of it. Lalli felt a small spark of something powerful moving up his sternum. A feeling that made his breathing tighten. He wondered if maybe their bodies were suffering in the real world. But then it got tighter still as Emil quickly moved his hand and placed it over Lilli's.

 

"Lalli, I've been feeling lots of things about you." Emil looked up at him sadly. "And if this is a dream, especially my last dream, then i guess my brain wants the opportunity to tell you in person." A short pause. " well, in dream-person at least, hah!" He chuckled at the end of that thought process. "I thought my mind was being forgiving, but now i realise how cruel it is! I'll never be able to tell you in person."

 

While Emil was experiencing waves of intense emotion, lalli sat there, that feeling in his chest just getting more painful. Emil didn't know it was the real Lalli. He bit his lip. His eyes flitted over their hands, pressed together. Suddenly lalli was feeling a little light headed. The feeling wasn't easing as he saw Emil moving his body to sit facing lalli. He placed his other hand so that both his were holding Lalli's.

 

"Lalli, I never told you that ili- " Emil's breathing hitched, and that blush spread back over his cheeks. He shook his head, "ah, this is stupid! If I can't even say it in the dream world! Lalli, I like you."

 

Lalli's brow furrowed as he struggled to contain the bubble that seemed to be inflating in his chest. He was finding it powerfully difficult to stop his own face turning rosy pink. The urge to run away and curl up in a dark corner was strong, but he knew that he had a mission here. If he ran off now, it might be the end of Emil. He'd just been thinking about how important he was to him.

 

It hadn't occurred to the anxious finn that Emil still thought he couldn't understand him.

 

Emil had closed his eyes, a serene smile on his face. He was happy just to be spending what he thought were his last moments holding hands with his closest friend. Feelings or no feelings.

  
  
  


He pulled one of his hands free and placed it on Emil's shoulder... Which slowly slid up to his soft neck, cupping his angled chin, gently tickled by gold strands of hair in the breeze.

 

Emil closed his eyes and smiled, leaning into the touch. Lalli peeked at Emil from under his eyelashes and crawled over to rest his head against the Swede's chest. He'd never appreciated how powerful Emil was.... But his chest was thick with strength where Lalli was lithe. Even though in the real world, Lalli was protecting Emil, here it felt the other way round. Emil squeezed his arms around Lalli, ruffling his hair.

 

"Emil...I think you're the least annoying person. " Emil's chuckle stopped.

 

"I understood that..." He gasped. Lalli looked up at him from his arms. "I understood you! In the dream world, you speak Swedish!" He pressed his forehead against Lalli's with a big smile. "Wait..." his brow scrunched up, "The least annoying? That's it?"

 

Lalli puffed. He knew he should say something more poetic, but he couldn't seem to process any words with Emil so close. Lalli tried to push himself closer to Emil, feeling quietly desperate to show him he felt something.

 

"Umph!" Instead, Lalli had pushed them both flush on the soft earth.

 

"Sorry..." Lallis lips whispered as he pulled himself towards Emil's face. Their noses were touching now. Like when they were hiding from the troll. "I think you're... " Emil's eyes were so blue "just..." Up close his blonde eyelashes were lush and long. Something he'd never appreciated until just then.

 

Lalli wasn't sure who's lips pressed together first. The pressure had lasted a moment before the men moved apart. Lalli looked sheepishly into Emil's eyes. Emil's slightly surprised expression, his parted lips and slow breaths all made him more perfect than Lalli had ever known.

 

"I've wanted to do that for a long time..." The Swede said, barely audibly.

 

Lalli lowered his lips towards Emil's again. This time their lips less passive. He kissed the Swede, breathing him in. Emil's arms were wrapping tightly around his body, keeping them delectably close. Lalli lifted his head up again, slight disbelief still ebbing through him. He pressed his lips to Emil's nose.

 

"Have you ever had one of those dreams where you wish you'd never wake up? I think this might be mine..." Emil smiled. His eyes blew wide, "I might not wake up..." There was a new edge to his voice. Lalli shook his head; he wasn't going to let the only man he'd ever connected with leave. "Lalli" The cry was so heartfelt. Emil tightened around him. "I'm slipping away! Help me!"

 

"No. Emil -" he couldn't fail, not now. Lalli's arms reached up to cup Emil's face. "Don't leave me," he kissed him again. As if his lips were trying to remember every feel of his mouth. "I need you."

 

Emil gripped tighter and pressed harder. His body was starting to fade. "Mmh-nyaagh!" Lalli looked desperately into his eyes. Water. There was water welling up in those eyes that were like the Ocean. There was also pain. "Hah! Lalli, I love you!"

 

Lalli's expression contorted in pain as he tried desperately to get some sort of grip on Emil before he faded away. It was hopeless. He was scrabbling against the mushy dirt. Less vibrant without Emil there. In fact, everything was evaporating. The dream was collapsing. Lalli looked at his hands, or should he say through his hands. He was startled to his feet, backing away from that spot. He ran, not knowing where to go. "Emil!" He screamed. He was fading fast...

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, once again, trying to keep some sort of trueness with the characters. This Lalli might seem a bit forward, but I think it could happen in a life/death situation. Aaaaaanyway, my fantasies aside :PP


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm, this one's a bit of a shortie but it's good fun!

"Emil!" Came a strangled cry, lalli thrashed against strong arms, a wave of cold overcoming him. There was a dark glow, and lalli could barely see.

" _Lalli! Lalli, my boy, stop..._ Uhn _, struggling!"_ Lalli frowned and twisted until he saw a red head trying to wrestle him to calm. He slowly stopped, breathing hard. Sigrun. That was her name. He sat up unexpectedly and their noses bashed together.

"Myah!" Lalli clutched his nose and glared at sigrun

_"Crazy!"_ Sigrun blinked. _"Well don't look at me like that. You're meant to be lying down!"_

Lalli shimmied out of the blanket that was over him and sprang to him feet. He stumbled as he did so, disoriented from the dream. " _Sit down!_ " Sigrun commanded, also getting up, but tumbling down as she got caught in the blankets. "Aarrgh!"

Lalli tried to leap over her to find Emil, but Sigrun grabbed his leg and cried " _stay here!_ " Lalli came crashing down, writhing the whole time. "Nyumph!?" He hissed at Sigrun.

_"You need to be disinfected first"_

"What's going on? Is there a troll in there?" Squeaked a high voice from outside the room. Lalli looked around - the holding room. "No, no troll," he shouted back. He shook his hair, adrenaline ebbing away. Now that he came to think about it, he probably needed to be disinfected. "Tuuri?"

"Lalli? Are you okay?"

"Where's Emil?"

There was silence. It was only because Tuuri was taken aback by lalli's unusual, urgent vocalisation. He was normally very quiet. But the wait was only giving lalli agony. "He's in bed. Have you been dis-"

"Is he alive?"

"Yes, Mikkel is with him." Lalli released a sigh and began pulling his clothes off.

"Oryaaagh!" There was a strangled yelp from Sigrun. " _What are you doing?!?"_ Tuuri could hear more scuffling.

_"_ Put.. _Your-_ nngj _, clothes ON!!"_

_"Sigrun, you're meant to be disinfecting him!"_

There was more thumps and tussling and another yelp. _"He tried to bite me!!"_

  
Tuuri sighed and let them get on with it. It was abundantly clear why Sigrun had never been chosen to be in charge of disinfecting.


	5. Chapter 5

In the sleeping room, Emil was lying on his cot, clean, warm and wrapped in bandages. His eyes were closed, and his chest was snoozing. Mikkel, having bandaged and stitched up the wounded Swede, was leaning back against the opposite cot, sitting on the floor. He was carefully returning first aid kit back into its respective bags. Emil hadn't been badly hurt, by some miracle the bullet hadn’t ruptured any major organs. However, the physical exertion and cold had made a simple injury a little more complicated. Tuuri had been anxious about the wound being contaminated, and there had been some confusion with the language barrier that caused some unnecessary alarm on her part. Danish was similar enough to the Scandinavian languages, but there were the occasional oddities that got a little lost in communication. Long story short, the wound was not infected with the rash disease.

Tuuri poked her head around the door, "are you done, Mikkel?"

"Yes. For now." Mikkel slowly raised his impressive body off the floor. "I will need to examine your cousin too. You said he wasn't injured, but he was difficult to wake."

Tuuri sighed, “well, he’s awake now.”

A ghost of a smile played on Mikkel’s lips. “I heard.”

"Has Emil told you anything about what happened?"

A deep sigh came from Mikkel this time. He looked at the sleeping swede. "He was incoherent. He awoke when I was stitching him up, but told me nothing of use." Mikkel sighed. He wasn’t sure how much to divulge with Tuuri. It had been a harrowing and intense procedure, not the least due to the snippets of coherent speech he did get out of Emil. He decided to introduce the subject. "He mentioned your cousin. He sounded distressed."

They both looked at each other.

"I wonder what happened to them..." Tuuri offered. Mikkel mmhmd. “Sigrun only knew up until that bomb went off. She was busy with the troll and decided to retreat after the explosion.”

****  
  
  


When Emil had awoken, it was as Mikkel had pulled the bullet out of his abdomen. Even though Mikkel had applied a numbing agent, the sudden pain must have been too intense and woken him from unconsciousness. Mikkel was interested to understand exactly what had come out of the man’s mouth. “Lalli, I love you,” echoed around his mind. Emil’s eyes wild. He almost felt embarrassed to have been witness to such a personal outburst. They were then caught in a tug of war (futile on Emil’s part due to Mikkel’s size and his own exhaustion) until Emil figured out where he was. Mikkel kept repeating “Emil, it’s Mikkel, you’ve been hurt. You’re in the cat tank. You need to calm down.” and other basic facts that the disoriented patient could get his head round.

Emil eventually went limp on the bed. He looked at Mikkel, “where’s Lalli?” his eyes flicked away from Mikkel as he said the Finn's name. Curious.

“He’s just coming in after you. He’s alive.” Emil closed his eyes and released a puff of breath through his nose. “What happened to you two out there?”

Emil didn’t respond. Or pretended not to hear. The dane slowly continued to stitch him up.

“Mikkel?” He hummed in response. “When I woke up just now…” he waited as though waiting for Mikkel to chime in. Mikkel didn’t want to put words in his mouth so kept quiet. “Did I uh… say anything?”

“Say what?”

“Oh, nothing.” He closed his eyes again, as though satisfied that Mikkel hadn’t heard anything.

****  
  
  


" Tuuri, will you stay with him for a while? I need to see to Lalli now."

Tuuri nodded and took a seat on the cot opposite Emil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just tying up some loose ends after the attack. Also, having fun writing about all the characters! (Sorry, Reynir's been notably absent - he was hiding because of his non-immmunity).


	6. Chapter 6

"Don't you feel better now?" Sigrun huffed as she finished spritzing Lalli with the disinfectant. Lalli sulked on the floor, converted in a blanket. A compromise since Sigrun refused to spray Lalli down without any clothes on.

She was perplexed about exactly what Emil and Mikkel did when they cleansed him. There was a rapping at the door - "do you need any help?" Came Mikkel's voice through the door.

"Nope! Done and dusted and free from any nasties." Announced Sigrun, opening the door triumphantly. Mikkel went to inspect lalli who glared at him suspiciously.

"Sigrun... "

"Mmh?"

"Why Is he still naked?"

"Ask him! Be damned if I know."

**  
**Mikkel closed his eyes and counted to ten. He wondered exactly how much protocol was involved in Lalli's disinfecting. He'd have to start the whole process again. He picked up Lalli’s clothes and put them in the UV decontamination unit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so i have noticed that Sigrun has uncharacteristically said some naughty words in this series. Hopefully they didn't come across completely out of character...


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Tuuri's perspective and she understands all, so no italics

"Is he done yet?" Piped Tuuri's voice again through the door of the disinfection chamber. Her question was answered as Lalli opened the door and slinked through."Wait, Lalli, are you alright? What happened out there? " she followed her cousin who had scurried into the sleeping quarters. He crouched on the floor with his fingers and chin resting on the edge of Emil's bunk. He emitted a quiet whine. Tuuri walked slowly over and sat back on the cot behind Lalli.

"Lalli," she said soothingly. No response. "What happened?"  She pushed her hands against her knees. Still nothing. "You have to tell us at some point."

Mikkel followed Tuuri into the sleeping quarters and stood silently in the doorway. An intimidating presence

"Emil was hurt. We tried to run to the tank, but our road was blocked." Lalli didn't really want to talk but the sooner the explanation was over with the sooner he could go to sleep. "I knew the roads around were dangerous so I steered us into the forest. We walked until I thought we were out of danger. Then I signalled you..."

There was silence. Lalli thought the explanation was done, but the others didn't seem to think so. There seemed to be some expectation that he’d say something else.

"Lalli," Tuuri started gently, "you two were huddled together, unconscious, impossible to wake, under a tree. Emil was covered in blood, and so we're you," Oh. That. Lalli let out a puff of air. He didn't want to share what had happened between them. Her breathing hitched in a manner that indicated she had been crying earlier. "What on earth were you doing?"

Lalli said nothing.

After a few moments, Tuuri looked over sadly at Mikkel, who ended the conversation. "Tuuri, this can wait. I need you up front for now."

They left. Lalli didn't adjust his position, still looking at Emil. He brushed one of his long fingers over his own lips. Remembering.

  
Lalli slowly felt his eyelids drooping. He was exhausted.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I use a very small swedish phrase in this one, if anyone actually knows proper grammar and wants to correct it/suggest suitable alternative then don't hesitate!

When Emil next awoke, he was fuzzy. The room was lit with a weak glow from the stove. He could vaguely make out shouting in the distance. "Protocol is that you don't fire your gun unless absolutely necessary" "it was absolutely necessary!" Emil closed his eyes again and raised his hand to brush his hair away from his face. As he did so, his fingers brushed against something on his bed. Elegant, long fingers. He looked for the owner - Lalli. He seemed to be asleep, chin resting on the mattress, fingers softly gripping the sheets. As Emil's fingers brushed past, lalli's fingers closed around his hand.

A sudden recall of that incredibly intense dream he had when he was dying. Hands touching. Bodies pressed together. Emil blushed. Kisses.

Oh! Av kärlek till... it was too embarrassing; how could he enjoy these private thoughts when the man himself was right next to him?

Emil felt awkward as sleeping Lalli rubbed his hand. A pang of guilt raced through him: he was enjoying it on a level that his friend was unaware, of and he didn't deserve to be treated this way. He couldn't let these feelings run away with him, especially not in such enclosed quarters. With all the effort he could muster, he pulled his hand away from Lalli's. With a wince he rolled onto his side, facing the wall. He needed to forget that dream and sharpish.

He closed his eyes. Oh, gods, it was hard being good.

Lalli's eyes popped open as Emil pulled his hand away. He'd gently snatched his hand while having a cat nap. Now Emil had turned away from him. Lalli remained crouched there, thinking about his next actions. Now that his least annoying person wasn't moments from death he could see things in a more relaxed perspective. He realised he did need Emil. He knew that Emil at least had a crush on him, and he was sure that he felt something too. Lalli rubbed his lips together. He needed to let Emil know somehow. He huffed. He wasn't entirely sure how yet...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies that these later chapters have been a bit slow since the comparitively more dramatic beginning. Hopefully things will start picking up now that the aftermath of Emil's injury has settled down.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nanowrimo is over and i had a lovely breather and now here is the next chapter <3

The team had made the decision to try and head back to the cleansed world. Now that they didn't have a cleanser it was madness to attempt to salvage any more books or continue their mission. They already had books. If this salvage was successful then it was possible they could get refunded for a second trip. Although there would have to be some revisions to the firearm safety protocols.

 

Meanwhile, life hadn't been easy for our favourite Swede. Mikkel had confined him to his bed until further notice. Since there was no sophisticated medical aid out here, they'd have to wait for Emil to be seen properly back In the cleansed world. And until then he wasn't to do anything to exacerbate his injuries and cause himself harm.

 

That did mean being kept in close quarters to the one person he was anxious to avoid.

 

The morning after the night before (when he was shot), he awoke feeling a dull ebbing pain in his abdomen. He placed a delicate hand over his bandage - Mikkel had done a good job. He surveyed the room - everyone was asleep except Sigrun's bunk appeared to be empty. Lalli was sleeping underneath the bunk at the opposite side of the room. Emil gazed at his sleeping face, remembering a kiss he'd dreamt they'd shared. Somehow, that dream wasn't vanishing as fast as all the others he'd ever had. His neck started to feel hot under all the covers and clothes he was wearing. Why had he rejected Lalli last night?!

 

Two beautiful, blue eyes opened suddenly. They immediately honed in on Emil. Little spots of blue perfectly aligned, like constellations. Their gazes hung in the air, neither one looking away. Slowly, Emil smiled and waved his hand in an almost undetectable motion. Lalli looked at the signal, back at Emil, then closed and opened his eyes purposefully. Emil understood. "good morning." The corners of Lalli's eyes crinkled in a lovely smile that didn't need to reach his lips.

 

They lay there, actions shouting loudly through the gentle snuffles and snores in the sleepy room.

 

Everyone was unceremoniously roused from this tranquility when Reynir decided to try to sneak out of the bedroom unnoticed. He misjudged the height of the drop from his bunk and came crashing down on Mikkel with a yelp.

 

"I'm so sorry; I'm so sorry!"

 

Tuuri hit her head on the bunk above as she bolted upright in surprise. Lalli had retreated further underneath his cot. Mikkel grunted and slowly began untangling himself from the troublesome shepherd.

 

Yup, another normal morning in the cat tank.

  
  
  


 

The days plodded on as they made their way back to the cleansed world. Mikkel had still forbidden Emil from leaving his bed. Three days of rest was turning into three days of torture. He had little to distract him.

 

Fortunately for Emil, the perfect distraction came in the form of Tuuri. She teetered into the sleeping quarters one morning, overladen with the books they'd salvaged. With difficulty, she carefully piled them under his bed.

 

"Pheoowff! There, that should keep you busy while you're here." She smiled at him. She blanched when she saw Emil's look of disgust. "Well don't look at me like you've just sucked a lemon."

 

"What's a lemon?"

 

"I don't know, strange turn of phrase. I think it means that your face has gone sour." She' placed a book on his lap. "Something I found out... while reading books! Look, I've picked out all the Swedish books so that you don't even need to break a sweat. "

 

The Swede leafed through it like it could be infected with the rash disease. Why would he want to know about limons anyway?

 

"I'm leaving a pen and some paper so you can start transcribing if the urge should overwhelm you."

 

Emil let out a  timid whine of frustration as he flopped his head back on the bed. Timid because he was slightly scared of Tuuri in a sort of big-sister way. She was very kind and cuddly most of the time, but she had an edge. She could order Lalli around that's for sure, and he was stubborn as anything.

 

He turned to face the wall until she left the room. When he heard her leave, he peeked back at the book lying innocently on his bed.

 

"Open mee," it seemed to say. Emil grimaced. He'd been inside too long. Books were now talking to him. With trepidation, he pulled it closer to him and opened the cover. He let the words sit there, deciding that if he passively read them then it would be doing them a favour.

  
  


 

"Emil, are you hungry?" Tuuri poked her head round the door and beamed at what she saw. Emil was snuggled in a corner of his bed, book propped open against his knees, a look of involved wonder on his face.

 

He looked up at the disturbance, startled and snapped the book shut. "Nothing. I'm fine. Books are nothing. I'm lame. Wait, what?"

 

Tuuri chuckled. "The book not working out for you, then?"

 

Emil averted his eyes and tossed his hair, trying to act aloof. "Well, it's alright I suppose. And it's something to do I guess."

 

Tuuri raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Well, let me know if you're hungry."

 

Once she'd left the room, Emil hurried to find his page again. Somehow the characters had just dragged him in.

 

There was commotion outside. Emil just ignored it since he wasn't part of the world outside his bed for the moment. After about half an hour, lalli stumbled into the bedroom, looking exhausted. His scouting missions took a little longer now that the cat tank was traveling further distances to get home faster. That also meant he was arriving back later. Emil pretended not to notice him and just read his book. He didn't see Lalli's frown when Emil didn't see him waving at him. He didn't see the confused glare when Lalli realised his gap under the bed had been filled with books. He also didn't see Lalli look at the gap under another cot and decide that there was a better option.

 

"Agh, hey, wha?" Emil exclaimed as he felt something crawl into his bed. Lalli had curled up next to him. Really, curled up. Like a cat. By all outward display, it looked like he was already asleep. Emil sat there, eyes shifting, but otherwise motionless. Thoughts like "what does this mean?" And "there are five other places he could have chosen" and "should I put an arm around him?" Fought for dominance in his brain. Emil took a deep breath. He was in control. This was totally normal. He returned his attention to his book. Ah, yes, blissful words. Lovely sentences. Great turn of phrase. He turned the page and realised he hadn't actually remembered anything he'd just looked at. Frustrated, he started again. Okay. Concentrating really hard this time.

"'You want to be more careful," ... Maybe i do need to be more careful, what if Lalli doens't like me? 'Hanging around like this, people will think you're up to something.' The crew were all going to know that Emil was up to something, and that was crushing hard on Lalli... 'And Gryffindor'.... what even is a Gryffindor? 'really can't afford to lose any more points'... And I can't afford to lose Lalli" Phew! That was hard. Hopefully, the next sentence would be easier. Lalli Nuzzled his arm and Emil nearly jumped out of his skin.

 

Lalli looked up at Emil with big, innocent eyes. Impure thoughts, impure thoughts! "Umm... You startled me" Emil tried to explain. Lalli responded by burrowing under his arm and placing his head on Emil's shoulder. By virtue of positioning, Emil's arm was now naturally wrapped around lalli. The scout began snoozing near immediately.

 

This is totally normal. Emil tried not to move, but breathing became difficult. He took a deep breath, his arm wrapping a little tighter around his sleeping friend.

 

I am completely okay with this.

 

Emil looked back at his book. The words started flowing again. Huh. Maybe he actually was okay with this.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Tuuri popped her head round the door with two bowls of breakfast for the boys "WHO WAANTS FO-ood..." She stopped and smiled. Emil was fast asleep, book propped open, his arm around lalli who looked like he was dreaming peacefully. She had seen that Lalli was fond of Emil during their voyage, but this took her a little by surprise. 

 

Tuuri returned outside to the breakfast camp they set up outside each morning. Sigrun looked over at her, "wer dey not hun gwee?" She exclaimed through a mouthful of food.

"Oh, no. Not exactly." Said Tuuri. Still beaming.

"Are dey. Sweepin?" She spat.

"Sigrun, talking and eating don't mix." Mikkel glibbed.

Reynir was sat, sharing his bowl with the rescued kitty. He stared at Tuuri a little open mouthed, as though deep in thought. "But you're grinning so much, something's different..."

Tuuri tried her best to hide her smile. Sigrun snapped her head over. "tsay wha? Oh Yeaah"

"What are they doing?" Reynir asked.

"Just sleeping, they look cute when they sleep!" Tuuri sat the bowls down, "I just thought it was nice that there's still peace to be had in the silent world," perhaps she'd said that too defensively. She picked up her own bowl and began munching indignantly. "I downt know whut your twyin to get ah'."

Mikkel sighed. Clearly his revised protocol training was going to have to include eating etiquette as well.

"Aww, I'm gonna see," said Reynir, getting up and running off before Tuuri could stop him. "Oi! Just leave them to sleep!" The Purrito followed her friend with the long, red 'tail'. "What, you too??" Sigrun looked over at Tuuri's mortified expression. She swallowed her large mouthful of food and sprang up. "I'm going too!"

Tuuri looked at Mikkel with an exasperated expression, expecting some backup. He merely shrugged and stood up to go and join them.

"Mikkel! I thought I could trust you!" He responded by entering the cat tank after the others. "Well, I clearly thought wrong!" She placed her bowl down and bowled over for crowd control.

 

They were like humans at a zoo. Hushed whispers, "Aww, well if that isn't the cutest thing I've ever seen!" said Reynir, a delicate hand over his mouth.

"Get away now, leave them to sleep!" Tuuri whisper-shouted in response.

"Ah, I always knew the young strapping men had a bit of strap in them after all!" Sigrun laughed.

Tuuri grimaced, "They're just sleepi- eww! What does that even mean? Mikkel! Get them away,"

Mikkel hummed. "Well, I think some of you owe me some money."

Sigrun's face dramatically transitioned from confidant smirk to a dejected slump. "Aww, I thought that wasn't a real bet!"

The words only took a moment to wash over Tuuri. There was a moment of dangerous silence. 

"You've been betting... in a military camp?!" Tuuri asked dangerously. "And what's more," Sigrun made herself very small in the doorframe, "on my cousin..." Mikkel had the grace to let a bead of sweat run down the back of his neck... "hooking up with someone?!?" There were audible gulps. "Did I hear that correctly?"

"well..."

"Not in so many words,"

"What we mean to say is..."

"Specifically Lalli,"

"Yeah the stakes were lower if it was anyone else,"

"Language barrier you know..."

"Emil..."

They all jumped at the last phrase. Instead of the harsh barely-whispers, it was gentle and sleepy. Everyone snapped their heads instantly towards the sleeping men. Lalli was shifting in Emil's arms. If he woke up now then they could only imagine the torrent of judgement that would follow. Everyone froze. Lalli puffed out a breath and then a gentle snore.

A collective sigh escaped the group.

"Get out of here now," commanded Tuuri, poking the medical healer and the captain no less. "And if I see anyone poking their noses around this door again there will be hell to pay." Sigrun and Mikkel scarpered, she could hear them giggling outside like children. Walking, off, she swiveled on the spot as an almost afterthought. "That includes you Reynir!"

He looked up at her, open mouthed, "Wha? Oh!" And scampered behind the others. Kitty leading the way.

Tuuri huffed. Then a genuine smile grew on her lips as she walked outside to follow them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aww yay, new chapter! So there was a bit of a collosal break after nano, then christmas, then january... aaaaanyway, we're warming back up to do a few more chapters. <3 yay

The engine of the cat tank rumbled reassuringly. Turri had taken a morning driving shift, but now Mikkel was taking a turn to give Tuuri a break. He often took over before anyone ‘helpful’ tried to volunteer. Fortunately, Reynir could be kept occupied in the shotgun seat to ‘look out for trolls’ which he did enthusiastically. And loudly.  
  
“Oh I saw something move over there, oh no it’s just a tree. Oh, there are some shadow people- oh no they’re just real shadows.”  
  
Mikkel mmhmmd occasionally, not really listening, but Reynir was satisfied that he was, in fact, being helpful. The tiny redhead, or red-furred, sat in Reynir’s hand looking wide-eyed as Reynir pointed out each different feature outside. Purrito was like a little caricature of the Icelander; Mikkel thought to himself. They both seemed just as easy to please.  
  
There was another redhead that wasn’t so easy to placate, though.  
  


“Watchya dooin?” Sigrun said, leaning against the study door. She’d sharpened her knife, then checked Mikkel was driving as fast as he could, then she counted supplies, now she was bothering Tuuri.  
  
The Finn finished scribbling down the end of a tricky sentence before leaning back in her chair and looking at the captain. She never came into the study as a matter of principle. (‘What’s the point of books when you can have guns?’) “Transcribing! Want to help me?”  
  
Sigrun tossed her head back and let out a moan. “We’ve been stuck in here for days now!”  
  
Tuuri suppressed a laugh. “We’ll back in Mora tomorrow if we don’t run into any difficulties.”  
  
Sigrun slid to the floor in despair. Her eyes were closed, and she was whimpering, but she was stable. Tuuri turned her sights back to her book. She was getting a sort of thrill looking at the dusty pages, probably the first person to lay eyes on these words for ninety years or so.  
  
“They’ve been asleep a long time now.” Tuuri looked up confused, then remembered Sigrun. “Unless you don’t think they’re sleeping.” The red head waggled her eyebrows suggestively, and Tuuri refused to rise to the bait.  
  
“Well, Lalli has been scouting all night. We’ve been pushing him really hard to get home sooner.” She made an effort to sit up straight in her chair and look stern. Her defiant expression was nothing short of adorable, and excellent fuel for Sigrun’s entertainment.  
  
“Do you think they’re… you know…” Tuuri refused to confirm whether was Sigrun miming something lewd by returning to her sensible book, thank you very much. “I’m going to go see,”  
  
“Sit.back.down!” Tuuri stood up and grabbed the captain’s arm as she pelted towards the bedroom door. Not that she could ever have overpowered Sigrun, but she let her win anyway. “So you think that they _are_ doing the dirty?”  
  
Tuuri flung her arms up in exasperation. “I give up!”  
  
“I didn’t really think they were until you just reacted like that!”  
  
Tuuri glowered her best glower. Sigrun bopped her nose. “He’s my cousin,” she said, implying that the conversation was over.  
  
However, implications often meant little to the most bestest captain. “And he’s an exotic blonde!” She threw up her hands as though to say ‘can you blame him?’  
  
“Out! Out!” Tuuri wafted her away from the door and slid it shut. Furious scribbling could be heard from the other side.  
  
  
“I’m an exotic blonde,” came a deadpan shout from the driver’s seat.  
  
Sigrun, now exiled from the study, looked over at Mikkel. Reynir’s bright eyes popped from round the seat. The round green O’s asked a host of innocent questions that Sigrun decided not to stoop to answering.  
  
“Well, you just worry about getting us back to Mora in one piece.” She Leant either arm on the front seats and watched their progress.  
  


Inside the bedroom, much to the disappointment of Sigrun's supposedly lewd fantasies, all that could be heard were snuffles and occasionally the ruffling of a blanket.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Okay, i’m going to totally ignore the fact that dream jumping could be like dangerous or not commonly done/exhausting, so mwahahaha I AM THE DREAM LORD-

 

Lalli lazily dangled his arms over the edge of his dream island. His fingertips brushed the water. Soft grass felt wonderful and warm under his back. Nothing like the freezing snow of the silent world. He inhaled deeply, chest rising under wool and fur. Scents of berries, soft mud, and something woody filled his senses. There was something else mingled with them, though, something familiar.

 

Lalli snapped his eyes open. It was Emil. He sucked his lip, trying to banish a sudden desire to go and visit him in his dream again. He sat up and ran his hands over the grass. It was still soft, but now he felt restless. Too restless to feel restful. The want racing through him. It was foolish to risk his safety in the dream ocean for something that wasn’t an emergency. Lalli lay back down and tried to close his eyes and rest again. Thoughts wandered back to the cat tank. They were making their way back to Mora, Tuuri mentioned something about tomorrow. That probably meant that they’d be back at the base tomorrow. Then what would happen: probably a laborious debriefing? Maybe a nice dinner. Hopefully, those bratty children would be kept in a cage this time. Emil would probably be taken to the hospital and he and Tuuri would… Lalli sat up on his elbows. They’d leave. Back to Keuruu. Onni would go with them of course; he’d stupidly gone to Mora to radio them. He’d been crying. Lalli could tell. He squinted in thought. Tuuri could possibly be convinced to stay a bit longer, at least until Emil was better, But Onni would want to go immediately.

 

He hopped up. That settled it then. This was enough of an emergency. He wasn’t going to waste this opportunity to see Emil before they were separated again. He sliced open a portal to the dream ocean, repeating the ritual to find his dream space. He breathed deeply, and sleeping Lalli did too. Lalli couldn’t quite tell what form Emil’s luonto took - like other people not exposed to magic he would never have developed any sort of tangible connection with its form. But Lalli could sense it was something soft and gentle, with a spark of wildness. The connection between them was stronger when Lalli was in such close proximity. Emil’s dream portal opened, a sudden shower of gold, glimmering light spewed over the darkness of the ocean. Lalli tokked his way over, sensing the terrible creatures in the deep retreating away from the light. Lalli waded into another meadow - this time bronze wheat. The dry stems whispered in a gentle breeze. It was spectacular. It was rich. It was gold decadence with bright blue sky. It was Emil.

 

The man himself was looking to the sky a little way off, unaware that someone special to him had just popped into existence. He wore light cotton and a thoughtful expression. 

“Emil…”

The swede’s chest rose at the sound of his name. The men looked at each other across the meadow. Emil’s eyes widened and opened his mouth in disbelief before a smile lit up his face. 

“Lalli.”

It was impossible to say which of them began running first. But soon they were wrapped up in each other’s arms, Lalli burying his head into Emil’s hair and Emil wrapping his arms over bony shoulder blades. The wind held them together tight and both of them were tranquil to stay like that. 

“I was hoping you’d pay me another visit.”

Lalli could feel the vibrations from Emil’s voice in his shoulder. He just nodded. "mmhm."

“I’ve been dreaming of those awful houses,” he continued. “They’re dark and dirty, and I’m running, always running. Being chased. But I never find a way out.” Lalli knew how that felt. Every time he stepped into the dream ocean was a chase against unknown terrors. Except sometimes they did catch you. “But… today it was the meadow again. And I thought… I hoped,” he laughed, still tickling Lalli’s shoulder, “well. Here you are!”

He leant back to admire the Finn in his arms. Lalli idly plucked a piece of straw from his gold hair and tossed it away. “here… I am.”

They caught each other’s eyes for a moment. Lalli felt himself quickly looking away, and Emil giggling. There was a delicate warmth on Lalli’s cheeks as he suddenly thought about what it was that he really wanted here. Emil, of course. But now there was something slightly more that they might do. 

 

Emil stepped away from him, sliding their hands together. "I've been in bed all week. Walk with me?"

They stepped through the wheat. Lalli daintily stepping between stems, avoiding destroying Emil's dream space. Emil's step was a little less refined. Wheat crunched under his boots as he strode with strength. Lalli let the place fill his senses. Something about it just felt right. The sunlight painting flecks of gold in Emil's hair, the warm breeze and Emil's hand in his. The talkative Swede was even quiet for a change. Now that they understood each other there seemed to be less reason to fill the space with chatter. Lalli glanced at the injured man. Although he was wounded, it hadn't affected his dream self. It went to show that even though Emil might be annoying sometimes, he had a strong spirit. 

 

"It's funny, I'm sure there are a hundred things I want to ask you." Emil slowed down as he said it. Lalli agreed. "But now I can only really think of one thing."

 

Lalli stopped him and pulled his shoulders so they were facing each other. "You can ask."

 

“I wanted to ask,” Emil looked down but Lalli could still see sadness tingeing his features. Lalli ran a fingertip along his jawline. “is this you? Like really you?”

Lalli gently tilted his chin up so the Swede could see him nodding. “It’s me.”

His eyes widened a little. “So it’s not just my imagination doing a really good job?”

Lalli smiled and shook his head. He stroked a strand of hair behind Emil’s ear. “When I wake up I’ll remember.”

At that, a light rosy dusting coated Emil’s cheeks. Something he’d wanted to know just on his lips. “Was it you last time?” Lalli blinked, then nodded slowly. “So you remember-”

Emil cut himself off with a laugh. Lalli lifted his eyes towards the sky, suggesting that yes, maybe he did remember what happened in that particular dream. They looked back at each other, with honest smiles. 

“I thought that you probably remembered because you were acting so jumpy whenever I touched you afterwards,” Lalli said.

“I thought it was a dream,” Emil explained.

“Technically, it was,”

“Well yes.” Emil closed his eyes at the technicality. “But I thought that you didn’t know what I'd been dreaming about.” He pressed his palm against the Finn's soft, messy hair. Lalli felt a gentle force pulling him closer.

Their lips pressed together. Gentle and warm and full. Lalli moved back an inch. “I couldn’t forget that.”

Emil leant back towards Lalli. Lips slowly moving against his. Lalli ran both hands through Emil's hair. It was incredibly soft. Lalli secretly wondered if Emil had managed to smuggle hair products onto the cat tank. He began to nibble the blonde's bottom lip, slowly pulling his hips closer to his. Emil licked lalli’s top lip, then crushed their mouths together again, noses pressing together deliciously. With foreheads tucked together, the tentative lovers drew their lips apart and sought reassurance in the other’s eyes. Lalli stroked emil’s hip under loose clothing. Again, he could feel an uncomfortable warmth in his cheeks, which he was certain wasn't going unnoticed. It was just that he really was quite delightfully sculpted, their intense troll hunting escapades probably didn't do his physique any harm. You'd just never know that under all their winter clothes was all this muscle. Lalli felt crude thinking of it like that. That train of thought was also leading to more blushing. 

Emil brushed rough fingertips over lalli’s burning face and chuckled. “You're uh… quite warm.”

Lalli pushed him away, a sudden determination flooding his features. Emil looked a little horrified and embarrassed. “I'm sorry, I wasn't making fun of you, I thought it was cute…” he fumbled with the words while lalli fumbled with his coat. 

“No no, not that,” he said between buttons.  He wasn’t angry with emil, who'd completely misinterpreted his reaction.  How had they even stayed friends this long? He was just very suddenly aware of how hot he was. And dammit suddenly his coat had become an impenetrable fortress, and his fingers were clumsy and there was a distracting adrenaline clouding his mind. 

“Do you need some help there?” It was gentle,  partnered with those roughened fingers gently pressed over lalli’s. Somehow they also stilled the chaos in his head. A nod was the only cue emil needed before he began carefully and quickly helping him escape his coat. Lalli’s neck felt a sudden cool breeze as the fur collar of his coat was shrugged away. 

The coat fell, forgotten. 

 

What had captured their attentions instead were emil’s fingers idly resting on lalli’s chest - now just covered with thin material. He bunched a little of the cloth in his fingers, slowly feeling the chest underneath. Lalli couldn't remember if he had been breathing when he thought back to it later,  all he remembered was seeing the same blush creeping onto emil’s cheeks that he himself  had just tried to hide. Something wicked and naughty flashed in the Finn's eyes.  _ I know what you're thinking about. _ The rest of his face innocent. 

 

“Your turn.” Lalli said it so quietly that he wasn't sure Emil had heard. The truth was Emil was so surprised that he'd been stunned into silence.  He tilted his chin up to look at Lalli. The finn held his breath,  waiting for a reaction. 

Emil grinned. “I don't think you have the guts.” He leant towards the finn as he said it,  so low it was like a purr.

Lalli shuddered.  Not one to back down from a challenge.  He teased the bottom of emil’s shirt,  looking him straight in the eye. He felt a rush as emil gasped. Slowly, he pushed the fabric up, fingers running over skin the whole time. He paused over his strong heartbeat. It was quick. Emil lifted his arms as lalli pulled the shirt over his head, then tossed it to join the coat. Slowly cooling amongst the breeze. 

 

His hair was ruffled and it was gorgeous. And his firm torso tensed as lalli touched him. His arms gripped lalli’s back,  just over his ribcage, and pulled him closer.  Lalli kissed those divine lips, then ducked to gently suck the skin under his ear.

“mmhmm. “

Emil absently pushed his fingers down lalli’s back, chin tilted up, body being pulled towards the finn. Lalli kept nibbling along his jawline, all the way to his lips where emil greeted him with pleasure. Lalli slowly traced along his bare shoulders and arms, warm under his hands, then slipping his arms around that torso so firm he could climb it.

_ Steady now… _

He gripped his waist as that particular thought unfolded. 

 

“I think… it's your turn… again, “ Emil said between kisses.

“oh,” was all he could manage. 

Rough fingers played with the hem of lalli’s shirt. Emil clearly wanted to derobe him, but was being too tentative. Lalli decided to hurry him a little. “I thought you said that  _ I _ didn't have the guts…” he let the thought trail off in the breeze.

Emil bit his lip, then pushed up his shirt. He paused to slide his hands along his lithe torso. The breeze tickled his bare chest. Lalli pulled his arms out of the sleeves as emil bunched the fabric over his head.

“You look delicious, “ He said again in that wonderful, low voice.

 

Lalli’s expression was stoic but that blush was back and giving him away. He'd been naked in front of other people before, even emil. One couldn't afford to live in the post-rash world, with all its thorough decontaminations, and be shy. But this felt very different. To be looked at, no- admired. It made him feel, not uncomfortable per se,  but it was certainly different. And he wasn’t even fully naked. 

Emil stepped towards Lalli and tucked himself into his arms. Lalli burrowed into Emil’s hair. They stood and held each other. As much part of the beauty of the dream as the gold field. Even when emil had decontaminated him in the past, it had never been this tender or intimate. Emil pressed a kiss into lalli’s collarbone and lalli ran his finger, feather-light, through gold hair.

“I'm glad you came back. “

“It’s dangerous to come when I'm far from you.”

Lalli felt whispery breaths over his chest. The soft tangle of hair peeked up at him and lalli lent down to kiss those lips that he hadn't been kissing the whole of winter. That's a lot of time to make up for. They tasted of the forest outside, and the death they'd waded through, of longing and a little gunpowder. And biscuits. 

“Will you go back to your home?” he asked sadly,  but looking him in the eyes.

Lalli’s eyes darted round for an answer. He couldn't leave Emil until the next expedition. If there even was one. He shrugged. It felt too impersonal, so he cupped his face. “I will figure it out.“ He could be proactive when he wanted to be. He nodded, to himself more than Emil. It would involve talking. To Tuuri. And Onni. But it was a torment he was willing to endure for the man in his arms. 

 

There was a growing, rumbling noise from the horizon. It echoed around the field, making waves in the wheat. Lalli gripped Emil protectively and scowled at the wind whipping around them. 

“Did that sound like someone knocking on the door to you?” Emil asked.

Lalli kissed him hard in response. The more you focused on the real world leaking into the dream world, the quicker you woke up. Emil may have realised,  since he focused all his concentration on the man holding him. He didn't mention the second swelling of sound rippling through the dream.

“Please give me some sign you remember this. When we wake up.”

Lalli nodded, and hoped he had seen, because he could feel the dream dissolve as another knock ripped the dream apart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, boys, that got a bit steamy. I was really trying to be good, but the characters just started doing what they wanted. I am entirely innocent.

**Author's Note:**

> -paused until nanowrimo is over-


End file.
